Allusion Poster Draft

Allusion Poem Draft

She was 10. 

and already knew greater things were in store. 

People looked at her a bit differently. 

Like she was a bit strange, a bit flighty, a bit troubled. 

And she was. 

But that didn't falter her. 

She made her first get away 

into the world of euphoria and exhilaration

and from there she was hooked on that feeling. 

She was flying. 

She was free. 

Her adventures got more frightening 

as they got closer to the stars. 

Now it was time for the most monumental one. 

Warnings and cautionary tales 

were told to her 

about the dangers of the trip she was about to pursue 

for the destination in her mind 

was one so small and seeming

unattainable. 

They asked if she was wiling to take the chance 

and she nodded with confidence.

That's when she got into the plane and took off. 

Previous memories were replaced with visions of her future. 

She was making her great escape 

and she never looked back. 

Parent Conference: 1st Semester Portfolio

Hi Mom and Dad, 

This past semester, I do feel as if I've done some writing pieces to my liking. Those are the one's in which I'm the most proud of, the one's I've spent a lot of effort and revision on. The personal essays I've written, such as the Coming of Age and the College Personal Statement ones were the pieces I'm the most pleased with. Using the voice trait especially, I feel like doing these personal essays has really helped me figure out more of who I am and who I want to be. Those were created with more than words. They were written with nostalgia and emotion and ambition for a better future, too. 

The major challenges for me during this semester had to be research reports, such as the Risky Business one. As I talked about earlier, personal essays are my strong point. When it comes to non-fiction, though, I tend to have a harder time putting words together that are profession, factual, and still interesting to read. 

Next quarter, I do plan on bettering my non-fiction writing through more essays, and applying that into other classes, too, such as the Exploravision project we're currently doing for Physics. My goals are to become better at research and at phrasing information in a way that the readers would be pleased to look through

View my portfolio at dancergrrl16.wix.com/writingstandards 

After viewing, please comment with answers to the following questions: 

1. What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why?
2. What did you like about my portfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on?
3. Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice) do you feel was most successful for me?
4. Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?

Thanks! 

THIN documentary review

Eryn Yuasa

Language Arts II

Menemac

Thin (2006) is one of those remarkably rare unrestrained documentaries that focused on a subject that is very relevant to problems that are happening today: eating disorders. Director Lauren Greenfield gave viewers footage of the story following 4 women who suffer from eating disorders and their stories while they’re in the Renfrew Center in Florida, a treatment facility.  The film does a fantastic job at showing what treatment truly is like, without sugar coating anything. Thin won the 2006 Documentary Grand Jury prize at the Boston Independent film festival, and also was nominated for an International Documentary Association Award.

The main women who the film is focused on really help the storyline presented by being completely honest and open with their feelings. They share exactly why they ended up in treatment, how being at the center feels for them, and the film follows up what’s happened to their lives after they have been released from the center. Because of the severe nature of the issue, I strongly recommend Thin to be not for younger viewers. There is no rating for this film.  

If you’re looking for a sincerely raw take of the problem that millions of Americans across the country are facing, than this is the film for you. It’s a documentary that captures interest in the beginning, and then keeps it all the way through the end, as you’re anxious to see what happens to these women after recovery. 7 out of 10 star

Angry Letter Rough Draft

2825 Ala Illima Street

Honolulu, Hawaii 96818

November 13, 2012

Brandy Melville USA

Ala Moana Center

Section 2F, Second Floor

Honolulu, Hawaii 96814

Dear Brandy Melville USA management,

Ever since the store has opened in the Ala Moana Center shopping center, I have been a satisfied customer. The quality of the clothes are great for the reasonable prices that they offer. I can’t seem to leave without buying something new. And the style – very beach like and boho – perfectly fits the climate and the people of Hawaii.

However, I remember the first time that I had ventured into the store and picked up a piece of clothing that caught my eye, I realized that there was no size on the price tags. Taking a closer look around the store, I found that a bunch of small signs had been putting up, simply reading, “One size fits most”. There’s only one size to a large majority of your clothing, with an exception to things such as bandeaus and shorts. This makes it hard for people who are outside the normal height and weight range of an adolescent or an adult. For example, there was a Guilianna maxi skirt that I had looked at, before realizing it was 41” in length and had a 12” waistband. While the waistband had fit, considering I’m only 5’, the skirt had basically drowned me with a pool of material at my feet. If the store offered sizes, finding clothes to fit you would be a lot easier. I’ve had to put back a ton of hi-low skirts and maxi skirts both because the one size fits most idea apparently didn’t work with the body type I do have.

I’d like to mention that the problem is not just me being the wrong size to fit into the clothes. It’s the fact that the stores “one size fits most” motto is degrading to those like me who now feel like we’re not the right size that we are supposed to be. It’s adding to the insecurities and doubts that hit teenage girls and even adults who feel like they don’t fit the picture perfect body that society tells us we should have. Just those simple words and the sizing chart of the store can ruin one’s self esteem.

I completely understand that by making your clothes in one size, it can visibly lower production costs. Brandy Melville is, though, a big choice in clothing for the girls all over the island though, and I feel like it would be worth the extra money to make sure all of these girls feel included and don’t get the wrong message from the stores sizing policy.

Please, keep up the good work with making desirable and affordable clothing for people to wear, but I do feel that you shouldn’t be advertising that everyone’s body needs to look a certain way if they want to wear such clothes.

Sincerely,

Eryn Yuasa

Risky Business Rough Draft

            One of the hardest battles to face is one with your own body and mind. That’s the seemly endless fight almost 11 million people per year struggle with, the fight against an eating disorder. Eating disorders can come in different form, such as binge eating, anorexia, and bulimia. All though often thought of as an unimportant, “self caused” issue, the severe natures of eating disorders need to be brought to attention because of the damaging mental and physical affects they can have on people.

            People argue that eating disorders are just a self-caused problem. No one is physically forcing you to have an eating disorder. But this is something that has been classified as a real problem by medical doctors. When you have an eating disorder, it causes things in your brain to change and people start to think differently. Harsh consequences can be aftermaths of eating disorders, and that’s why it needs to be shown as a real problem.  

            Having an eating disorder can lead up to more server mental illnesses such as depression and the thoughts of suicide. That being said, they cannot just keep being brushed aside. People suffering from anorexia are 50 times more likely to die because of suicide due to the psychological changes that being severely underweight can have.  Half of all patients diagnosed with a binge eating disorder have a history of depression. 24% of bipolar patients have met the criteria for eating disorders and 44% have said they’ve had trouble controlling their eating with their disorder.

            A disorder can be defined as a disturbance in physical and mental health or functions. That being said, an eating disorder can be critically damaging to physical health, also. Anorexia, or failure to maintain an adequate body weight and doing so by having excessive dietary restrictions, can cause medical changes such as bone loss, difficulties with temperature regulations, low heart rates, low blood pressures, and more. Psychologically, they can trigger anxiety, depression, social isolation, and perfectionism. Bulimia, or recurrent binge eating accompanied by compensatory behaviors such as purging, excessive exercise, and fasting can cause electrolyte imbalance, tooth decay, and esophageal vicars in the medical area. Anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and difficulties with impulse control can be some psychological side effects. Binge eating, which is recurrent binge eating without compensatory behaviors can cause anxiety, depression, substance use, and more psychologically. Medically, it can cause obesity and gastric problems.

            No person truly suffering from an eating disorder should have to feel like what they’re going through is unimportant or not a real problem., Having an eating disorder is in deed like a battle against yourself. By bringing this to attention, we can create open options for treatment and encourage to bring about body peace for everyone. 

Vocabulary Word